Dear President-for-Now Assad. Here in America
You have forty-eight hours to join your numbered bank accounts
in Bern , Switzerland Middle East upon the expiration of this
deadline, you will be placed upon The List.
The List is special; very few people have seen it and the names tend to
change abruptly. Other famous names that
have graced The List include Anwar al-Awlaki and Osama bin Laden.
The presence of your name on The List is intended to be
temporary, but you cannot be sure exactly how temporary. Middle Eastern dictators have a well-deserved
reputation for lavish lifestyles. We
encourage you to live every day as if it may be your last, because that will be
a very real possibility. Enjoy the sun
on your face as you fruitlessly scan the skies for the drone that is hunting
you. We want you to appreciate that the
last thing to go through your mind will be a jet of molten copper from a
Hellfire missile.
Alternatively, the Alps are
always lovely.
Sincerely,
The United
States of America
p.s: To the people of
Syria;
